Earn your Death: 22 July 2025

What do you see when you look in the mirror? We are a reflection of how we feel inside. If you feel fulfilled and happy, you will see a happy person reflected back to you. If you are tortured and in pain, you will see something you dislike, even hate, in the mirror.

What if you are suffering from body image issues? You see nothing but flaws. I can tell you how that feels, because that is a struggle I have had to deal with, and occasionally still do.

Gone are the days when I was trying to be the best-built guy in the gym. My training has taken on a more sustainable approach and a well-rounded plan.

I alternate between bodybuilding, mace work, bodyweight work, and various forms of conditioning. I have embraced the fact that my past is dead and I am no longer the person I once was, and I am welcoming in a new era. This new era isn’t as concerned with my size and strength, but more concerned with feeling better, moving better, and being in good shape. I am not under the illusion that I can turn back time and have it all; nor do I want it all.

I don’t want to live in the gym like I used to, post shirtless selfies under the illusion of progress, and cover all my insecurities behind the facade of self-assurance.

I was never lean enough, big enough, strong enough, or good enough in my eyes, and thinking that way about myself never allowed me to move forward. It kept me stuck.

For all that I accomplished with my body and training in sport and lifting, it could have been accomplished with a much healthier attitude and approach.

I won’t lie and say I don’t regret it, because I do at times. I regret feeling like I had to prove something to myself and the world. I regret the anger that fueled my training and sports. I regret the mistakes I made in life, but none of that regret matters because I am here now, and dwelling on it longer than a second is a lesson in futility.

Self-acceptance is perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

It starts by looking in the mirror and seeing what is looking back at you.